Will I lose weight on this diet?

Breakfast: A piece of fruit, a cup of oatmeal, a glass of skim milk, a small piece of low-fat ham, an 8 ounce galss of water, a Krispy Kreme glazed donut, a stack of IHOP pancakes with extra butter an blueberry syrup, 5 slices of bacon, a hot-dog, and a piece of chocolate cake
Lunch:
A small cup of chicken broth, a bowl of mixed greens with no dressing, a half-cup of cottage cheese, an apple, a bowl of mac-n- cheese, a burger with bacon and mayo, a large deep-dish pizza with everything on it, a can of Mary Kitchen Hash, a banana split and a smore.
*Skip snack time*
Dinner:
A 4 ounce piece of salmon, grilled, with a side of green beans, a cup of low-fat yogurt, 8 ounces of bottled water, a bucket of chicken, a vat of mashed potatos, a chocolate eclaire, some Taco Bell cinnamon twists, a ham-hock, and a piece of cherry cobbler, a small glass of red wine, a shot of tequila, a pint of Jack Daniels, a snifter of Bailey’s Irish Creme
Before bed:
I do 3 sets of jumping jacks